Updated: 3 days ago
So you're finally going to meet each other in the real world. Instead of pictures, chats, and phone or video calls, you're finally gonna see him face to face. How will it be like talking to him in person without the agony of having to wait for his replies? Will the two of you click like you did during those late night conversations ending only until one of you accidentally falls asleep? Shouldn't you be excited that he finally asked you out or he said yes when you asked him? Be careful now. The more expectations you build up, the more likely you're only setting yourself up for disappointment.
Do you really know the person you're meeting?
You see, there are different sides to one person. In Online Dating, what you can see is limited to what's in your phone. You see what the guy chooses to display in his profile or how presents himself through the pictures and the words he uses in your chat. You may feel like you know everything about the person even before meeting him, but you don't.
We can get carried away painting up a fantasy inside our heads of the perfect man and an ideal future. Your similarities and simple coincidences feel like destiny, just like what you've seen in the movies. It's never like that though. We're probably wrong if we think too far ahead. Things might be better or they might be worse and we're just gonna have to see.
I'm no expert and these are merely suggestions based on experiences
I cannot give any sure advice on how to land romantic relationships from just a first date. There's a lot more to that I'm sure. But, I'll be giving some suggestions that will help you get to know your date better. Yes, I haven't had any relationships yet, but that doesn't mean that all of my dates were bad. There were a lot of good ones where I have gotten to know a lot of incredible people and had a great time.
It is fun getting to know people. You may or may not like the outcome by the end of the date, but of course you'll want the both of you to enjoy, right? These tips will help you get there.
1. Be Yourself
Always be yourself. This is the most important rule of all. Don't try too hard or feel like you're putting on a performance because that can really get exhausting. Be honest and don't pretend to be something or someone you're not, for anyone. Smile bright and have confidence in what you look like and who you are. Be candid and let your personality shine. You're on a date because he wants to learn more of you, the real you.
2. Eliminate Expectations and Be Open
Have zero expectations when you go into dates to keep the pressure off and avoid disappointment. Just be open and go along with the flow. Some people may be great in chat, but kind of shy in person and vice versa. Don't judge a person right away because there's probably more to him than that. Remove the mindset that he's supposed to prove something to you. He's not. The only thing he's supposed to be is himself and you have to allow that.
3. Plan Ahead
It is best to come up with plans already of where to go and what to do before your date. Both of you are probably anxious when you see each other and it will only get worse if you're not prepared so better have options to suggest.
For safety reasons, I suggest having first dates in public. You can have dinner or watch a movie. I prefer coffee shops though because you'll really get a chance to get to focus on the person without distractions. Strolls are also the best while sharing funny stories and facts about one another. Anywhere that has a light and chill ambiance so you can really take things easy.
4. Break the Ice Right Away
So he's here. He finally made it and you're seeing him face to face. Of course, it is a shock and both of you are probably nervous. You need to break the tension right away. Don't wait around and let the awkwardness ensue. Fight it.
I suggest making jokes and saying something that will make it seem that you two are not strangers. Ask a simple question and allow him to respond. You have to make it seem that you're comfortable so that he'll be comfortable. Ask him about his day and then share about how yours went. Don't be afraid to take the lead because you can.
5. Hide your Phone Away and Establish Eye Contact
Look him in the eye. Put your phone away. He's already in front of you, why are you still checking your phone? Maintain eye contact and listen to what he's saying. Also don't be afraid to smile because you are prettier when you do. Be in the moment and connect with the guy. You may have so much fun talking that you won't even notice the time pass by.
6. Get to Know Him Again from Scratch
It is alright to ask again or talk about the things you've already discussed in the chat. Think of this a fresh start and getting to know the person all over again. You'll get to see the expression of the person while he talks about his stories. You may go deeper into the topics or get insight that you weren't able to get from him online. You'll also learn more than what he's saying because you can feel the emotion behind his words.
Have you watched movies like That Thing Called Tadhana or Before Sunrise where during the 1-hour-and-a-half-long movie, the characters basically just talk to one another but its still entertaining and heartfelt? Yup, that's what I'm kind of describing.
7. Try to Keep Things Light First Until Things Feel Natural
This used to be my problem. I tend to overshare and treat my dates like therapy sessions. I feel like I've told my whole life story to the guy, without giving him much room to talk. Do not do that, okay? Hahahaha.
Keep things light at first and do not force heavy topics if none of you are ready for it. Allow the person to talk as well and let him feel like he can say anything he wants to. If both of you are comfortable enough and everything feels natural and then you'll get there, a place of understanding and fascination.
Do you think these tips will help you? I hope they would!
I'm not sure if my suggestions can personally help you. I'm gay, and I'm sure it is different for hetero dating and relationships. But, I do think that we all just need to be ourselves and have some fun right?
Trust your intuition. If there's magic and fireworks and all of those romantic stuff between the two of you, you'll definitely feel it. Revel in the moment and enjoy, sweetie. There's nothing as wonderful as two individuals captivated by one another, like they're the only two people in the world
It's totally up to you. You got this!
Whether or not you'll like the guy and have a second date or a full-blown relationship is honestly up to you two. I guess, a bit of luck plays into that as well, right? Don't be in a rush to find your true love because it will come in the perfect time. Just be open, have fun and take life's chances because you'll never really know if that perfect time is actually now.
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