Every person has a different life, a different story to tell or not to tell. What we all have in common though is how we're human. We are all imperfect creatures of this world who are just trying to get through life. We have days when we're enjoying it's pleasures and there are days when we are burdened with it's endless struggles. We can be happy and we can be sad any second of a given day. We all have goodness in our hearts and of course, we have darkness as well. It's not as simple as black and white. We are all just made to navigate our way into the shades of gray.
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
We are all capable of doing anything. As uplifting as that is, it can also be scary. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what do you see? Is it a confident optimistic person or someone you're ashamed of? Is it one or the other, or can you barely recognize yourself because you only see a shell of a person?
The answer is we all feel this way, a different reflection of yourself on different days. Happiness is not something that once found, you get to keep from then on. It pops in and out of your life, but not an emotion you can hold on to forever. You go through life's ups and downs and it can leave you exhausted on most days.
It's important to always ask yourself "How am I?". Are you fine? Are you okay? When asked these questions, we automatically answer with "I'm fine", or "I'm Great. Thank you. How about you?". In reality though, these are the hardest questions to answer when you really try to be honest with yourself. How do you feel about yourself? Do you feel good or bad? Why is that? What happened and what made you feel that way? What can you do to make yourself feel better?
We are so caught up with our own lives that we push these questions aside. We keep neglecting ourselves of the opportunity to face this head on because we're scared. What are you doing with your life? How do you quiet down the nagging guilt or shame from the regrets you have from the past? How do you get up? How do you move on? How will you recover?
Get Out of Your Head
You need an outlet to release all of these things from your mind. Journalling proved to be a helpful tool for me and you can find out how it saved my life in this blog post: "Write Up Your Life, See It Unfold Before Your Eyes!" - Keeping a Diary
But for some people who don't like to write and favor talking to real-life people, I think you have to be extra brave. Choose the right person to talk to, someone you can trust and will never hold any judgement. It can be a stranger or a person you love. It's definitely up to you. But, I do suggest to just be honest and open about your feelings. Just vent, but don't claim that you're already on the right side.
Listen to yourself as the words come out of your mouth. Do you like what you hear? If not and then, you might have done something wrong and you have to work on that. It's important to be open and forgiving. You should still be the one to fix your problems though. Don't expect your friends to have all of the answers. Them listening is enough. But if given some advice, try to take them and see if they might work.
Don't Be Too Hard on Yourself
We can't blame ourselves for sometimes reacting negatively to a situation especially when honestly, we were just feeling lonely or victimized by the unfair world resulting into making choices we end up regretting.
We might not even know if we're doing something wrong or if our actions are causing harm to other people. What we just have to do is try to be a little more sensitive to them and be open to change. Be extra kind to the people around you. We are all going through something and trying to survive in this sometimes, just really messed up world. We make mistakes all the time, but we get to choose whether to learn from them or just keep repeating them again and again.
It's important to remember though that your identity is not fixed for life. You are not a bad person. Who you were in the past is not who you are always going to be. That one big thing that you regret most doing when you didn't know any better, is not who you are rest of your life. The names you were called and the way people judged you before isn't you are. You shouldn't hold on to these things and let it follow you into the future. Learn to forgive other people and yourself.
Take Your Time
Time is what you need and you can take as long as you want. But you have to realize that the clock only starts running when you begin finding the answers to these questions. Constantly check in with yourself to know if you are still in the right path moving forward. It's not easy, but it's important to address your internal dilemmas so that they won't follow you around, sucking you in like a black-hole, dictating your actions and making decisions for you.
Take control. We have the free will to make the choices that we think is right. We all only have one life, right? And guess what? This is yours! Be the person you want yourself to be, someone you would be proud of. Enjoy your life with the people you love. Live it the best way you can. You can do it!
We Should Never Stop Learning, Growing
Don't hide behind a mask and keep pretending to be someone you're not. Admit that you have flaws and ask yourself if you're ready to change and try to become better. That is growing up. We are all in different stages of growing up and no matter how old you are, this is never going to stop. Just be open to life and see every day as opportunity to become a better person.
Do not rush though or try to figure out everything right now. Respect your journey, and everybody else's. Let's try to be there and help one another. Don't worry, everything will make sense. Things will get better. Onward we go!
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